


A Big, Messy Kind of Life

by TwiceAsFrustrating



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, Other, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5481695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwiceAsFrustrating/pseuds/TwiceAsFrustrating





	1. Prologue: Where Life Leads

“Stop it,” Terezi mutters as her voice goes low in annoyance, “stop pretending you love my sister. Even the blind girl can see that you’re nothing but a self-righteous, blowhard. If you loved her, you wouldn’t say things like how you can deal with her disability.” She looks on with glazed over eyes that cannot see. Her eyebrows crest in fury, “You know what I think? Deep down, you don’t care about anyone except yourself. You only care about what makes you feel important, and that means acting like the most holier-than-thou being on the planet.  
“You decide what is right and what is not, and you force others to follow. Those who do not are deemed unworthy in your eyes and you write them off completely. You have it so planned out that you dictate how others are allowed to experience their lives. You decide if they are suffering according to how you specify they should. You decide who is gifted and who is burdened, and tell them what that means to them. Yet you do nothing to help those you proclaim need assistance. Instead you spend all your time shaming everybody for every little thing.”  
She leans against her cane, shifting her weight onto the sturdy stick and the balls of her feet, “I think you’re in love with the idea of my sister. Someone who you see as broken in some way so that you can feel like the bigger person, but with a flaw that won’t be cumbersome on you. You get to sit on your high horse and use my sister as a tool to show how understanding you are of those people you deem lesser without actually having to do any work to understand what it’s like or what it means.”  
Kankri only gets out a single syllable before she cuts him off with shouting, “Stop talking for once in your life and listen to somebody else.” He goes back to silence.  
She takes a deep breath before continuing, “My sister and I are not broken. We may be missing a sense, but we are still able to function as normal human beings. She may be unable to smell the scent of our mother’s cinnamon rolls in the morning, and she may not taste them the same, but that doesn’t mean she’s lost the ability to enjoy those experiences with others. Unlike you, she doesn’t fault others for enjoying what they still have. No one is oppressing her for her lack of smell like you seem to think. Wait. I take that back. You are.  
“Do you know how much more harm you do than good when you tell others they aren’t allowed to enjoy the scent of something or comment about how something looks when either of us is around? Can you even comprehend what it’s like to have your defining feature be the disabled one? No, you can’t. Yet, you act like you understand it better than anyone.  
“I get that Latula isn’t at the same point I am; she doesn’t like to talk about it,” Terezi grips the head of her cane tightly, feeling the small ridges make indentations in her palm, “but you keep forcing her to. Every time you bring it up, you are forcing her to deal with something we all know is there, but do not mention because we respect that she doesn’t want to be defined by it. You’re the only one that doesn’t respect that wish.  
“My sister isn’t even the only one,” there was herself, Cronus, Mituna, and basically everyone Kankri knew or knew by proxy, “but going into every case would take too long and I’m already sick of this conversation.”  
She pulls her weight off of her cane and shifts it back to her heels. She shifts the cane gracefully along the ground, looking for the edges of the steps so she can go inside. She does not say another word, nor does Kankri respond. Or, he does, but she ignores every word that leaves his mouth. It seems he didn’t absorb a word she said.


	2. Before the End

Terezi feels it as a large wave comes rushing up and crashes over her entire body. She jolts to her feet and stands perfectly still, unsure how much of the ground around her has also become wet. The water runs down her body in tiny beads and drips in small amounts from her skin.  
“Sorry, Terezi,” Feferi calls from the water in front of her, “I didn’t think you’d get caught in the splash radius.”   
“TZ,” Karkat yells from her side. He was sitting with her outside the pool so she wouldn’t be alone. Or, that’s what he told her. She knew he just wanted to stay next to her because he has the least inconspicuous crush in the world, next to his brother. It must be a Vantas trait, because their father shares the same one, “are you okay?” His voice dips at the end of the sentence, as he realizes how foolish the question was.  
She can hear murmurs coming from the water a few feet in front of her. Amongst the splashing of others moving, she can make out the sound of squeeing and bated breath. Apparently no one has a life outside of seeing if she and Karkat will be anything more than strangely-too-close friends.  
She reaches out , trying to land her hand on his shoulder. He is kind enough to lend her a helping hand and bring her toward him so she knows exactly where he is. She stares at his face, foggy eyes looking at something she cannot see, and pushes him backward.  
She hears it when he hits the pool and everyone sighs in mixtures of relief and disappointment. Their reaction is one that makes her cackle. They think her relationship with Karkat is so simple.  
The water breaks suddenly as Karkat comes up to the surface panting for the breath he was so suddenly deprived, “What in the ever loving name of fuck was that for?”  
She tilts her head as a wide grin crosses her face, “Karkat, are you okay?” She asks with feigned concern.  
She hears another splash, followed by Kankri speaking, “Karkat, not only is that a highly obscene action by its own accord, but it is doubly offense due to the fact that she cannot see you doing it.” In other words, he is flicking her off.  
She taps out her foot, trying to find whatever may be in front of her. The furthest thing she can feel is the rough marker, saying how deep the pool is. She knows she is at the deep end, so her next move is easy.  
Terezi shifts her weight from side-to-side and takes off in a sprint toward the pool. The sound of rushed fleeing fills her ears as she takes off from the concrete edge and into the sky. The last sound she hears before hitting the water is one of Karkat’s cosmetically high-pitched shrieks.  
She falls down, curled up into a ball, and breaks the water. The pressure pushes against every side of her as she falls further into the water. By the time she uncurls, she can feel the bottom of the pool against her knees. That is her marker as to which way is up.   
She turns and contorts her body until her feet rest against the ground. She bends her knees and props herself onto her toes. With one push against the bottom, she propels herself back to the surface.  
The moment she feels the air kiss her skin, there is cheering. Loud and boisterous she recognizes it as her elder sister, “Whoo! Nice one, lil’ Sheriff,” she calls out from somewhere behind her. Terezi knows her sister is in the shallow end with her boyfriend, which means she got turned around somewhere along the way.  
“Latula, as her older sister, you should not be encouraging her to pursue such dangerous and reckless actions. She could have seriously gotten injured should she have missed where the concrete ended. Worse, if she had been unable to locate which direction was up, she could have found herself trapped at the bottom. Furthermore-” Terezi groans and switches to floating on her back so she doesn’t have to listen to Kankri prattle on.  
The water off to the side of her rushes over her chest. She turns her head toward the person. Not because she wants to see who it is- because she can’t- but to acknowledge that she knows they are there.  
“He’s still shooting off his goddamned mouth,” the voice speaking to her is Karkat. He and Kankri do not have the best relationship, despite being brothers. It’s probably for the same reason most people can’t stand him; he’s a prick. She doesn't understand how he has people that call him a friend. She doesn’t understand how her sister has an incredibly complicated, near romantic relationship with him. He’s insufferable.  
“I noticed,” is all she says in response.  
The water beside her shifts again and a hand reaches to intertwine with her own, “Don’t say a fucking word. I’m just making sure you don’t float off toward the insufferable.” If that’s his excuse, she chooses to accept it. It’s not like she wants to say no, anyway.  
They lie there, floating while just barely holding onto each other for a few minutes. From above them, the sun beats down and warms their exposed chests. It’s so calm that it’s almost like they’re alone. In reality, most people are avoiding the two because they don’t want to run into the blind girl. It’s an advantage Terezi loves to use if she can. It means she usually ends up owning whatever space she chooses.  
The moment of serenity has to end at some point, however. It’s just unfortunate that end is caused, once again, by Kankri being his obnoxious self toward the late arrival of Cronus Ampora.  
No one expected him to be on time, of course. He’s always fashionably late to everything, if only so he can be the center of attention when he does show up. That isn’t what Kankri finds and attacks by the sound of it.  
“Cronus, you were not required to show up in an outfit you feel uncomfortable in. I’m sure if you would have shown up in a T-shirt and a male suit, no one would have found issue with it.” She can only assume that means Cronus showed up in a female suit.  
“Yeah, probably, Chief, but then I couldn’t show off how rockin’ my body is.” Cronus’ voice is high-pitched and light. It really doesn’t suit him. He would do better with something in a tenor range.  
She can hear a small tsk from Kankri, “You do not have to objectify yourself, especially given that you must feel uncomfortable in your current body.”  
Terezi does not even need to be able to see to know that the two are attracting the attention of everyone currently at the pool. She would almost feel bad for Cronus, if she liked him. She’s heard him talk to Latula’s boyfriend- Mituna- enough times to not feel sympathy for him.  
Still, she hated Kankri’s speech just a little more. She righted herself, letting go of Karkat’s hand so she could cup it against the side of her mouth, “Let your tits hang out!” She shouts towards the sound of their conversation.  
Karkat takes her hand once again and begins to pull her toward the edge of the pool, “Do you have a rotten pile of sewage waste for a brain? I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of Kankri’s lectures to last me for my next few lifetimes.”  
She shrugs as he leads her hands to the ladder so she can safely exit the pool, “Sometimes I just like to see the look on his face when I rub him the wrong way.”  
“You can’t even see it.”  
“Yes, but the knowledge it’s there will warm my heart through the long winters to come.” She gives him a smirk as she hoists herself out of the water.  
She can hear the water slosh around as he follows after her to exit the pool. Once out, he takes ahold of her hand again, “We’ll talk about whatever part of your thick skull has obviously stopped functioning later. For now, we need to leave. Unless you want to sit through another one of the douche-nozzle’s hour long speeches.”  
She grabs more firmly onto his hand, “Lead the way, and don’t stop running.”  
She feels a sudden jerk as Karkat pulls her wrist off in a random direction. Whichever way it is, it’s the opposite direction from Kankri.  
“Latula, remember to grab my cane before you go home.” Terezi yells back to her sister before she is out of range.  
“Will do, lil’ Sheriff. Run like the wind!” Latula supports her sister nearly to a fault. It’s the Pyrope way.


End file.
